Twists and Turns in the Road

I've taken a hiatus from writing for a while. After my father transitioned to heaven while I was still recovering from surgery post breast cancer, I just needed a minute to breathe. So many things have happened in the interim. Life has moved too far at too fast a pace to process at all. From what I understand, most of the world slowed down during COVID lockdowns. I did not. Life moved faster during that time than it ever had because our team at work helps teachers learn how to use technology. In the spring of 2020, teachers who struggled to check email were suddenly thrust into teaching all of their classes online. It was a hectic time for our team and it took its toll. While some people soaked in the time to spend with family and slow down and take stock of what was important in life, we were spending 12 to 14 hours a day working with teachers, making screencast videos, facilitating online training (you see the irony, right?), calling parents and students, distributing technology and just trying to help everyone stay afloat. We are instructional support people. It’s what we do. At least it’s what I’ll do until this spring.

I've made the decision that I'm retiring from the WCPSS central office this spring. After 30 years working in the public school system, I'm ready to try something different. It's been both the hardest decision I've ever made and the easiest decision I've ever made. I have no idea what's next but I'm not scared.

Retiring when you have so much invested in what you do (and could still continue to do) is a very strange thing. I've been trying to really come to terms with the emotions that I'm feeling. I've had other friends say that they had mixed feelings but no one's ever really been able to define what that means for me. 

What I've learned is that I'm walking through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It's been healthy as I move in and out of stages to acknowledge what's going on and call it what it is. It was hard to explain to those around me until I was able to name it. In 2015, there were days when my family questioned if I'd even live to see this day. Seven years passed in a blink, and now that I am here, it's both scary and exhilarating all at the same time. 

I started working for our family business doing invoicing and answering phones when I was eight. I worked in college even on full scholarship. I cannot imagine not having a full-time job. “You're too young to not work” has been said to me a ton the past few months. Probably true. However, I have a beautiful 15 year old son and a fabulous husband of 26 years who I'd like to spend more time getting to know without cancer or the pressures of all the things I have to do for work constantly lingering in the back of my mind. 

So the road ahead is about to take some twists and turns, and we'll see where it leads. We're ready to embrace it. I'm in good hands.

Proverbs 16:9

In their hearts human beings plan their lives. But the LORD decides where their steps will take them.