The Almost, But Not Quite

My last reconstruction surgery was May 18th.

I'm almost ready to go back to work, but not quite.

I'm almost able to do stuff for myself, but not quite.

I'm almost healed up, but not quite.

I really am trying to be patient. I am trying not to push too hard. I am thankful to be here and to be cancer free. I am thankful to have an amazing plastic surgeon who could put me back together better than before. And I am thankful that the one activity deemed off limits during recovery is vacuuming - it is absolutely not allowed under any circumstance for 8 weeks. Not a bad deal, right?

But I just can't quite mentally check in. I'm trying - maybe I'm trying too hard. But this month has been tough. First our sweet dog got really sick from cushings syndrome and had to go to sleep forever, then I had my surgery, then my dad quickly deteriorated and passed away last week.

Of course I've been more emotional than normal - who wouldn't be? I want to take time to process what right now feels a little overwhelming. But I don't want to be overwhelmed. As I try to re-engage before what is shaping up to be a busy summer, I will take a deep breath and approach life one day at a time, realizing that each day is a gift. I'm almost able to do that, but not quite. But I will get there.